Well it seems as if now that things are lined up and figured out... we are not "needed" very much. In fact, contact is minimal from our parents and Joe.
Well, that really isn't any different for joe from before, out contact before the diagnosis was minimal.
The frantic calls and research are done.
Joe has done all the preliminary work for his treatments and they have begun. He texted that so far, so "good".
I think I might touch base with the cancer navigator, to see if she can arrange for him to have a cancer "buddy" because, lets face it, we have NO idea of what he is going through. The buddy would.
He is not strong at his ability to express himself.. except when frustrated, so this may help him to understand and get some of his concerns aired.
HIs vocalization seems to be coming along. Mom and Dad's version has him saying things pretty well, when he speaks slowly.... his version is that it still is not where he wants it to be. I encouraged him that over time, it will. That phrase is not one he can deal with very well.... patience was not dealt to him when it was handed out.
I think Dad's constant presence, was a stressor for him, but now Dad is able to step back and allow Joe to handle things, as he wants. It is a very hard thing for Dad to do, but he has done it. The day Dad did that, you could hear the difference in his voice!
There are still times when there is a tension,,, and Dad does handle it well.. and Joe is back to his typical games... but they work it out.
The other thing I want to discuss with the cancer navigator is, Joe does not have advanced directives in writing. Deb and I heard them, but our parents will never believe Joe's opinion that if he is not going to make it, he does not want to linger or have heroic measures. First of all, it is their son...and second, he is young.
So since JOe will not want to hear from Deb or I that he needs to have this in writing, I think it will be better coming from someone at the cancer center.
I think Joe is counting down the days until he can return to work, and I have to say, I cannot blame him. He went from working and hanging out with that crowd, to a bunch of chaos with appts and tests... and sitting at home after they are all done... oh and without a voice!
I guess we will have to be patient and see what outcome is decided from all the chemo and radiation treatments. They have not given any type of status report as of yet. But I guess it really did just start full force, so it may be too early to tell anything.
Mom continues to have some "illness" ... now she is fighting off a cold... only in order to be able to hang out at Joe's place over Christmas. I dont' really think Joe is interested in them sitting there and having "dinner', but unfortunately, that is all Mom and Dad can think to do.
I am now sitting here with bronchitis.. and that is slowing me down a bit in the mornings... I work the complete Christmas weekend and right now am not very pleased with my in-laws. Their lip service is a bit rude... and I am not in the mood for their shenanigans
Doesn't really change what I am doing, so I guess I shouldn't really complain. I just think how they handle things is just too inconsiderate of others.
I can only hope that Diane does not get all over the girls case about them not choosing to drink while there this year. I will not be there to bite back. LOL
The thing I do miss the most, will be not only the fun conversations we do have, but seeing the people open the gifts I have personally picked out for them. I really do put a lot of thought in what I get for the family members, and not seeing their excitement, makes me sad.
OHh well, we are supposed to get together on New Years Day and watch the Mummer's parade in Philly. I am really not sure that is going to happen, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. Fingers crossed.
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