Back into the swing of it.....

These past few months have been kind of a whirlwind, while also seeming to go very slowly.
We have had Rachel's graduation... in between Joe's chemo, radiation treatments and drs visits in Philly and Abington.
Joe's cancer showed its ugly head on the PET scan, just 3 weeks after the treatments were completed.
I kind of think he knew that was what the news was going to be.... or he was just being very stoic.
I was very hopeful that he would be clear.. but for some reason, I was not blown over by this news.
Maybe because the medical oncologist had spelled it out sooo well, the chances of it being cured was 0.
So, we met with the chemo dr... and Joe began another round of chemo, a stronger dose this time.
After the first chemo treatment... we had an appt with Dr. Cognetti, in Philly and he kept saying "gee, it looks good. Looks really good"  To me.. that was good to hear... but once again, we must take a guarded approach to how things are going to be spelled out.

After Joe completed his second round of chemo treatments... it was back to Philly to see a radiation oncologist for the evaluation of the necessity of brachy therapy.  This dr, was also VERY pleased with how clear Joe's larynx looked. Both she and the resident had trouble finding where the cancer nodules had been before.  So, Joe was told.. NO brachy therapy is truly needed.
Good News appt number1.
Then after we grabbed a bite to eat.. OK,Joe got a milkshake.... it was off to dr appt number 2.
This was with Dr. Cognetti.. once again Joe heard that it still looked really good!  Although he did note that the suture behind Joe's right ear... the newest incision site, was separating... not necessarily good. So he suggested that Joe keep it covered, esp while at work.  But generally this appt was also a good one... Dr. cognetti was pleased with how things were progressing.. or I guess,not progressing.

Joe has his PET scan next week, with results to be shared at the end of Aug.  I let him know that I can go with him to the appt at the end of the month.  I also think I will tell him I can be there when he gets the PET scan, if he wants, since I do not know if it makes him sick or anything.

Joe went to Mom and Dad's this past weekend, to share some of his choices and how he would like things to go.  Not really sure exactly what went down..... what was said. Mom and Dad have been non communicative.. and Joe basically said he told Dad he did not wish to talk  to any priests or the pastor.  I am sure this just tore Dad apart... but they are not sharing that.  I also gave Joe the heads up that Mom AND Dad would be pressing him about his advanced directives.So that may have been a slight surprise to them as well, even though I told them what Joe had mentioned to us before this all got under way.

Joe basically sees me as the one on an even keel... there to support him, quietly, at appts. and ask for some clarification if things seem unclear.  He likes that I am there to hear things and not asking a million questions as the appt is taking place.

Mom and Dad are keeping a lot of the information about Joe and their own health very close to themselves. Mom is still battling with her bowels and back.. and then migraines made their way into her list of what ails her.  I am not saying these things are not true.. but trying to be proactive in many ways can deter them.  At least she has admitted that some of the stress from Joe's cancer could be causing her migraines... Hey that is a start.  Dad has had his ailments as well, but for some reason, he needs to stress that they are not, in any way, stress related.  REALLY!!!!???  with all Dad is trying to manage.... he doesnt' think stress could be the culprit.
Joe is trying to relieve Dad of some of the control for Joe's appts and such... Dad has started to let Joe and I wander to Philly for the appts without him. I just cannot imagine how draining those days are for him.  I mean they are drainging for me.. but I am 30 or some years younger.
Like I told Allie when she noted how early I would have to start my day----I can always sleep later.

 It seems like once things get settled with Joe, Mom has a flare up of some type or other.  Sad to say, but sometimes it appears to be attention seeking.
I cannot say that I honestly think Mom gives Joe much support.  And she really does not give Dad any support while dealing with this... whenever they talk about Joe.. all they say is, "he is working full time and has lost his hair."  Joe sent them a 6 page letter, and that is all they could/ would share..
 SO Dad is left mulling things over and over again... unable to voice his concerns or ideas, because basically,mom does not want to hear it.

I know this is a very sad thing to be going through.. but truly going through it together is the only way we can. and she is just not part of the team.

I am hoping that Joe's next PET scan at least shows the cancer at a stand still ... the lung nodule gone.. or frozen in size... and the one behind his ear also gone or the same size.

Fingers crossed.